This is my third child going through Middle School. I consider myself a seasoned parent. I can look back and see where I should have spent a bit more with my older kids. Our family has many great traits.
Systems and organizing is not one of them.
I think it is a defect in out DNA. Don’t get me wrong, we did a pretty good job with my first two. They are problem solvers, confident, and have been super independent from a very young age. This did not happen by accident. These traits were high on our parenting list.
One thing we should have spent more time helping them develop is organization. Yes, I said develop. To be more specific: help them develop a system to organize their stuff!
The world of middle school is much like the real world in that you have an assortment of people that you must work with. You also have an assortment of assignments, supplies, and after school equipment like no other time in life.
The common thought is that by Middle School kids should be able to figure this out on their own. I’m here to say otherwise.
My third child ventured into Middle School last year, albeit with 8 different teachers. The array of school supplies, school uniforms, PE & football bags AND the clarinet all had to go to school and return home daily. Then, as if to develop those organizing and planning skills even more, the schedule changed every day and again every week.
Yep, chaos, utter chaos.
So, for 21 days we put up post-it note reminders of what to do when we came home and what to do before bed. When he came home we had to empty the PE or football bag. (Think gross, smelly clothes.) Before bed we had to look over his schedule, figure out what was needed and leave it all packed up for the next day. Notice I said “WE.” I believe this is the piece that made this strategy most successful.
Nothing builds a new habit like accountability.
In this case, I was the accountability piece. Initially, it was “we” every day. Then, it was “we” 2 or 3 days a week and I would just double check the days he did it on his own. The last week it was him doing it and him showing it to me. I will tell you it was not always easy to do this with him. Sometimes, I just didn’t want to. I did get a lot of “I can do this on my own.” I knew he could, but I also knew If I didn’t stick to the 21-day plan this may not be a success. In the end, the results were successful. To this day he follows the same routine all on his own. This is a win for both of us!
So yes, Middle School is the time for them to make mistakes, figure things out even forget a few things here and there. Middle School is also a time to develop independence and there is no better way than through a little positive accountability.