What About Her? 3 Things for Moms in the Snare of Comparison


” Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.“After saying this he said to him,  “Follow me. Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved. “Lord, what about this man?” Jesus said to him, ” If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” – John 21:18-22

The Hard Road

Its no secret that motherhood is hard. For me, life has been engulfed with struggle the past two years. Life with stage-four breast cancer has been some of the hardest years of my life. 

I have missed the award ceremonies, the class parties, the music shows, and even the carpool pick up line. I would see my boys in the morning and not see them again until the night fell; with just enough time to kiss them in bed. The doctors appointments were endless and the surgeries were frequent. I didn’t want this fate and all the fears that came with it. 

Will I get to see my babies grow old?

Will I see them graduate college?

Will I be at their weddings?

Sometimes we are called to something hard. To go where we don’t want to go. Jesus had called Peter to walk a path that lead to a terrible death. Crucifixion. This glimpse of Peter’s future was devastating. If that wasn’t enough, Jesus charges him to follow him anyway. 

Jesus’ words “Follow me” Ring in my ears everyday. You and I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but Jesus looks at us and asks to follow, even if it means bearing a cross. 

The Snare Of Comparison

After hearing the news of his future it didn’t take Peter long to fall victim to comparison and wonder how his fate was going to compare to that of another. He turns away from Jesus and asks, “Well what about John? What about him?” Is he going to be killed too?”

Its easy to fall prey to these thoughts as moms too.. 

“Why does she have it so easy?”

“Why do I always have to struggle?”

“It’s just not fair!”

“How can she manage five kids while keeping her house clean, affording high end clothes and reading a book once a week?”

“Why can she decorate, sew, paint, and do photography, but I can’t even make a pillowcase?”

“Why does she get pregnant without trying and I’m still infertile after all these years?”

“What about her?”

  • Comparison will always fail if we are looking at anyone other than Christ. It causes us  to turn away from the truth of God’s Word and look at the facade of another. Jesus’ answer to this is simple.

What is that to you? You follow me. 

Translation. Its none of our business. I am absolutely confident in saying that this is what Jesus would say to moms who are struggling with comparison.  Jesus’ loving but hard response is meant to make us take a seat, to humble ourselves. To shift the view off of ourselves, placing it back on Jesus.

So momma, take a deep breath and let this encourage you today. Jesus didn’t reveal Peter’s future to drive him into depression, or to make him wallow in self-pity and failure. No, he revealed it for his encouragement, indicating that he could do it. Jesus calls us into motherhood with all of its ups and down. Momma you can do it too. 

A Call To Mind

  • Following Jesus doesn’t mean it will be easy.

snare of comparison Miami moms blogChoose today to trust in His Sovereign plan. Turn back to Jesus.  Stop comparing and embrace God’s plan for your life. I know it’s hard. I know the unknown is scary, but we have work to do.  Jesus has a specific job for you. He has good works prepared for you to walk in. We must choose to trust by following him. 

  • You are necessary. 

All of us have a necessary and unique purpose for our lives. Your gifts are needed and of high value to the kingdom. Don’t trade them in for someone else’s. you are called to something hard. Something no-one else can do. He has a divine purpose for you. You are necessary. 

  • Stay Focused.

The Lord knows that if we continue to compare ourselves with others it will eventually distract us from what God has called us to do. We cannot lose sight of Jesus and look to others. Our eyes must stay fixed on Him. 

Peter’s death eventually became motivation for him. Today the cross serves as motivation for us. Look to Jesus. Look to what he did for you. The destroyer of comparison is the cross of Jesus Christ. 


  1. Amazingly humble and real! Inspiring and motivational. As mother’s we do compare ourselves and our families so much. Many nights i have fallen asleep sobbing over the many things i would of done differently . if i had not follow along with “the right” way to do something. I wish i would of follow Jesus much earlier in my life. Cant wait to read your next article: Mrs. Aviles.

  2. My days of raising kids are over, yet I struggle with comparing myself with others. Be it friends, family members or colleagues, I too have had questions of how and why. It’s something I’m currently working through. Your article through God’s perfect timing is certainly a reminder and encouragement to look upon Him and no one else. As I keep my focus on God all those I have been comparing myself with have left my attention. I do have a unique purpose and I know I will fall in step with it. Thank you Jackie for the work you have accepted in speaking God’s truths in simple ways.

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