Are You Lonely Mama? | A Call to Authentic Community

Miami has so much to love from the sunrises, to the oceans, the buildings, the culture and the arts. Miami is a beautiful place to live.

Downtown Miami has been my home for the last 8 years and it’s been my experience that this community is uber transient. Thousands of people come and go. Therefore, it can be challenging to build meaningful relationships and community.

It’s been a rotating door of friendships.

I would make friends (which I’m very grateful for) only to see them move away one by one. With a rotating door of relationships coming and going, I grew calloused to the idea of investing into friendships only to say goodbye. Selfish, I know, but in retrospect I know I was only thinking about my wellbeing and not of others.

To be honest, change is difficult for me, especially when it comes to people.

What about you?

For about 6 months I closed myself off to community. I stopped being a part of a small group. I stopped trying to make friends and I lived in my own bubble. We had just received guardianship of  our son (we foster our nephew) and it was the perfect excuse to say, “Sorry, I’m busy,” or “I can’t I’m a new mom” to dismiss all invitations of community.

I thought that being alone would be better than saying goodbye. That somehow if I was alone I would guard my heart from the hurt of sending my friends off.

It was the loneliest time of my life.

I was looking at this from the wrong perspective. My circumstances were not going to change so the posture of my heart HAD to change.

• Instead of thinking, “Another friend is leaving!” I started thinking, “I’m so thankful I met them.”
• Instead of being angry when they told me they were leaving, I started to say and train my mind to think,  “I’m so excited for your new journey.”
  • I want to be a friend who will encourage the next season of life and NOT a friend who will lust over the past.
• I started to pray over them that they would find an amazing community wherever they go.

When I focused less on myself and more on their future, my heart was at peace.

Are you lonely, mama?

• Have you grown calloused to making new friends?
• Are you hurt from previous friendships?  
• Have you felt rejected by friends in the past and are now guarding your heart?

I’m here to tell you that you were never meant to be alone. Your heart has a longing to be heard and understood. You were created to encourage others and to be encouraged. My dear, you were created for community.

I want to be a wake up call for you today. I want to encourage you to find a lady tribe, a community of women to connect to.

Where should you begin?

• Join a local facebook group of moms who share the same interests as you. (Maybe Miami Moms Blog is a good place to start) 😉 
• Host a playdate at your home and invite those you know.
• Invite a mom on a mom date! Check out this read from a fellow blogger Kathy. 
• Be on the lookout for a playdate near you!
• Be intentional.
• Join my tribe! We’ve got a room for you at our table. We meet Thursdays at 10:30am in Downtown Miami. If you let me know you are coming, I’ll even save you a seat.

Do you have a mom tribe or community of women? Invite someone to join yours!

• Invite them to join you on playdates, dinner, beach days, etc…
• Be bold and invite 1 person to join your tribe this week.

As I’ve learned to embrace change and continue to invest into friendships, I’ve learned that my lady tribe makes me better. Sisters, I’m here to tell you that, “We are better, when we come together!”