As a working mom juggling the demands of career and family, it’s not uncommon to experience moments of doubt and insecurity. Despite our achievements and qualifications, many of us still struggle with feelings of inadequacy and the fear of imposter syndrome–the nagging fear that we are not competent enough and that our success is merely a result of luck or timing (sound familiar?!).
You’re not alone. According to The Autonomy of Work Global Index of 2023 by Asana, 63% of workers worldwide reported experiencing impostor syndrome. And the higher you grow in your career (i.e. senior positions), the more likely than average you are to experience impostor syndrome.
Understanding Impostor Syndrome
Impostor syndrome is characterized by persistent feelings of self-doubt and the belief that one’s accomplishments are the result of luck or external factors rather than genuine ability. Impostor syndrome can be particularly challenging for working moms, as we strive to excel in our professional roles while fulfilling (or should I say excelling) the responsibilities of parenthood. The pressure to perform at work, coupled with the guilt of potentially neglecting our family, can excel our feelings of inadequacy and undermine our confidence.
However, it’s essential to recognize that impostor syndrome is not a reflection of our abilities or accomplishments but rather a common phenomenon experienced by many high-achieving individuals, regardless of gender or parental status. By understanding its underlying causes and adopting strategies to combat it, working moms can reclaim their confidence and thrive in their careers and at home.
Underlying Causes
Impostor syndrome can stem from various factors, both internal and external. One significant contributor is societal expectations/cultural norms that cultivate the belief that success should come effortlessly (think those infamous TikTok/IG videos of flawless moms. They are only showing a piece of their life, most likely the glamorous stuff that makes us envy and think we’ll never get there–in reality, it’s not real). This pressure to excel can lead individuals to doubt their own abilities and attribute their accomplishments to luck or external factors rather than their own skills and hard work. Additionally, perfectionism and fear of failure play a role in fueling impostor syndrome, as individuals may set unrealistic standards for themselves and fear that they will be exposed as frauds if they fall short.
Past experiences of criticism or negative feedback can also contribute to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, reinforcing the belief that one is not truly deserving of success. Ultimately, impostor syndrome is a complex set of beliefs, external pressures, and personal experiences that can undermine confidence and hinder personal and professional growth.
Recognizing the Signs
It’s essential for working moms to recognize the signs of impostor syndrome so they can address them effectively. Common symptoms include:
- Constant self-doubt and negative self-talk
- Minimizing or discounting one’s achievements to luck or external factors
- Low self-confidence or self-esteem
- Fear of failure and perfectionism
- Difficulty accepting praise or recognition
- Setting impossibly high standards
- Overworking to prove one’s worth, leading to burnout
By acknowledging these signs and understanding that they are common experiences shared by many, it becomes easier to challenge and overcome impostor syndrome.
8 Strategies for Overcoming Impostor Syndrome
1. Acknowledge Your Achievements: Take stock of your accomplishments and recognize the value you bring to your work and your family. Keep a journal of your successes, both big and small, and revisit them regularly to remind yourself of your capabilities. Bonus tip, I also look at my wins daily to train my brain to always look for the good.
2. Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Practice self-compassion and challenge negative thoughts that foster impostor syndrome. Replace self-critical statements with affirmations of your strengths and abilities. Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes and that failure is a natural part of the learning process. For example, whenever I think something negative, I question myself–is that really true?! Most likely it’s not.
3. Seek Support: Reach out to supportive colleagues, mentors, or fellow working moms who can offer encouragement and perspective. Sharing your experiences with others who understand can help alleviate feelings of isolation and validate your experiences (#YouAreNotAlone).
4. Set Realistic Expectations: Recognize that no one is perfect, and it’s okay to make mistakes or ask for help. Set realistic expectations for yourself and your performance, taking into account the demands of both work and family. Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion when things don’t go as planned.
5. Practice Self-Care: Prioritize self-care and set boundaries to prevent burnout. Make time for activities that replenish your energy and nourish your well-being, whether it’s exercising, spending time with loved ones, or engaging in hobbies you enjoy.
6. Focus on Growth and Learning: Cultivate a growth mindset by viewing challenges as opportunities for learning and growth. Instead of dwelling on past mistakes, focus on what you can learn from them and how you can use that knowledge to improve in the future. Seek out professional development opportunities, such as training programs or networking events, to expand your skills and knowledge.
7. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection: Shift your focus from achieving perfection to making progress. Celebrate small victories and milestones along your journey, recognizing the effort and dedication it takes to balance work and family responsibilities. Embrace the imperfect moments as opportunities for growth and resilience.
8. Lead by Example: As a working mom, you have the opportunity to be a role model for your children and colleagues alike. Lead by example by demonstrating resilience, confidence, and self-assurance in the face of adversity. Show your children that it’s possible to pursue your passions and succeed in your career while prioritizing family and personal well-being. (Remember, they hear and see everything!)
Conclusion
Impostor syndrome is a common experience for many working moms, but it doesn’t have to define our careers or our lives. By recognizing the signs, challenging negative self-talk, and implementing strategies for self-care and growth, we can overcome impostor syndrome and build confidence in our abilities. As working moms, we have unique strengths and perspectives to offer, and by embracing our worth, we can achieve success both in the workplace and at home.
