Bigger, Stronger, and Wiser… Well, It’s Not Always Like That

Not always at my best.

As a mother of two children, with a bachelor’s in children’s welfare, and ten years of working as a social worker you should think that I knew a thing or two about parenting. And I do. But I don’t always manage to use them myself. You see, I’m not always bigger, stronger, and wiser. Sometimes I’m quite the opposite.

In the last couple of months I have lost my temper more than once over my children. Being stuck at home with a six-year-old and a three-year-old isn’t just fun and games. I think it’s safe to say that we’re kind of over this whole quarantine, all of us. But we’re still hanging in there. Juggling between homeschooling, parenting, and laundry. A creative three-year-old who’s full of surprises. And last but not least, making about twenty meals a day, because at times that’s how it feels. I mean, how many meals do two kids need in one day?! So I’ll be the first to admit that some days it feels like I have 23 kids, and not two. 

Bigger, stronger, and wiser.

We all know that being a mom sometimes takes all you have. And that’s when life is normal. Now that we’re all of a sudden having to be both a mom, teacher, housekeeper, and at the same time keep everyone happy and calm–well you can do the math. It can be exhausting. We all know that it’s always a good idea to be bigger, stronger, and wiser than our children in any situation. Because if we’re not, well then it usually comes out of hand. But we also know that it’s impossible to be all of that in every situation. And that’s okay. 

You see some days I just let the kids watch TV while they’re eating breakfast. Why? So I can eat mine in peace while watching TV. Or actually drink my coffee while it’s still warm. I also let them eat candy even though it’s just Wednesday. Why? Because I don’t feel like taking that fight just then. Some days I even yell at them and use those stupid phrases like, “If you don’t…” Even though I know that won’t work, or that the consequences that I tell them will come actually never will. Why? Well because some days or nights that’s what being a mom is. It’s close to impossible to always be bigger, stronger, and wiser. And to always make the best decision.   

It’s called being human.

The late Swedish child book author, Astrid Lindgren, once said: “Give the children love, more love, and even more love. And then the rest will come by itself. ” If there’s one thing I always make sure to do, it’s just that. Give my children love. Make sure that they know that no matter what, I love them. Because I do believe that what she said is true. The most important thing we can give our children is love. If we make sure to do just that, well then they can handle all the other days when you feel that you’re not exactly a supermom.

I remember during a lunch break some years ago my colleagues and I were talking about our kids and how impossible they could be sometimes. And how our parenting wasn’t always what we would recommend to others.  We laughed at all the crazy stories and we also laughed about how we had reacted in those situations. You should think that people whose job it is to give guidance to other parents knew how to handle their own children. That we would know that those loud voices, sometimes childish answers, and consequences that are never going to happen is just stupid. And we do know that.

But life happens. And before you know it you find yourself being smaller, weaker, and a whole lot more childish than your kids are. But you know that’s fine. Because you know all those other days when you actually manage to be bigger, stronger, and wiser? Well they are the ones who make your children robust enough to handle those other days too.