Financial Peace in Pieces: Have You Ever Felt That Way?

Talking openly about finances is almost as taboo as discussing sex, religion, or politics. For anyone else feeling alone and filled with doubt in the midst of struggle–financial, or otherwise–here’s my story. An open letter, of sorts, about a time not too long ago when my financial peace was in pieces. 

Imagine having tens of thousands of dollars in debt, no 401K, and no home ownership status in your forties. 

Welcome to my world.

This was my world up until a few years ago. I thought I knew what life was “supposed” to look like, and what “success” should be. Everyone around me had it figured out, or so it seemed. I made assumptions based on what it seemed because no one was talking about it. All I heard (and saw) was how well everyone was doing. I assumed my husband and I were the only ones with this problem because everyone kept talking about their next vacation, or their next purchase, or their next shopping trip, or how you just had to trust God to provide.

Have you ever felt that way? Living with doubts because your reality doesn’t seem to match everyone else’s? Isolating yourself in the process?

Multiple job losses from our single-income breadwinner and years of unemployment and underemployment wrecked us. With the first few losses, new jobs came pretty quickly. That’s how it’s going to happen every time–sweet! I mean, no one keeps losing their job or isn’t able to find suitable employment indefinitely for YEARS, right?

Has that ever happened to you? Thought your life was going in one direction, but it ends up in a completely opposite, unexpected, and unwelcome direction? Have you ever fought to trust God in the midst of a longstanding trial, struggling to be grateful through disappointment?

Everyone around us seemed to be stable and secure. Same job for years, and no financial upheaval.

Did we hear clearly from you, Lord? I mean, I’ve been working from home, but should I have been doing more? People were expecting me to do more. What would people think? 

The “opinions and expectations of others” trap.

Why did I feel pressure to explain myself in this area? Who/What was defining my worth?

And so the flood of questions in my heart, soul, and mind continued.

Applying for unemployment AGAIN? Having to do it the first time was humiliating enough. Food stamps too? This is how my prayer for provision is answered, Lord?

I couldn’t believe we had to tell people that he lost his job AGAIN. Everyone could afford so many things–why couldn’t we? Shouldn’t things have looked differently at this stage of our lives?

I was in bondage to what others thought, what others would understand, how others would relate, and what I thought it should look like.

We stopped holding it in.

It was raw and unfiltered. Long conversations with tears in our eyes, drenched in despair, and crying out to God for answers.

Eventually, we began to share with others. I didn’t sugarcoat it, or tie it neatly with a bow. Here it is everyone, my filthy heart, lack of trust, disappointment, anger, and shame. 

Not to everyone, and not all the time. A handful of folks chose to press in when things were at their darkest. They didn’t press in with a bunch of helpful tips or pointing out where we went wrong.

Instead, the ones that truly made an impact pressed in with a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and Truth to combat the hopelessness that surrounded us. I have learned so much from them in how I extend compassion to the hopeless.

Faith to try something new.

That God would use the very area that had filled us with shame and doubt for so many years, an area of such weakness, is a testament to who God is, and how he LOVES to take the foolish things of this world in order to fulfill HIS purposes in our lives.

At the height of our most recent and most difficult financial/unemployment trial several years ago, we discovered Financial Peace University. Going through this program helped us see areas in our finances that needed to change–that God empowered us to change through small baby steps of faithfulness. We were given fresh faith to try something new.

So week after week in our FPU classes we had the opportunity to share the countless ways we blew it with our finances. What was broken became restored, and brought fresh hope to the hopeless. It started with shame and brokenness, and having the courage to talk about it without fearing the consequences. Trusting that it would be used for our good and God’s glory.

Financial peace in pieces. Broken pieces put together into a beautiful mosaic glued together by the Creator and Sustainer of all things.

“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.” James 3:17-18 NIV

Dave Ramsey ends each one of his podcast episodes:

Remember, there’s ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that’s to walk daily with the Prince of Peace.

Shame doesn’t get the final say, friends.