That desire of wanting to be friends with our children doesn’t truly get fulfilled until we become a grandparent. During the years of being a mom, we must sometimes be the bad guy. Always teaching and holding up the boundaries. And our goal as a parent should be to raise wonderful and productive adults. Once that adult becomes a parent, our role as mom can switch to grandparent. I have to be honest, when I was in the midst of raising my children and being Mom, I was not thinking that I was earning my motherhood degree. It’s now I realize I’ve graduated to grand!
When we are in the years of mothering, we are giving a lot of ourselves to our children – we make sure they are fed, bathed, and content. And we can feel like we have lost ourselves along the way. The job of a mother never stops. Our children still need us as adults, but the difference is that it is on their terms. The role changes from mom to grandmother, and honestly, it really does get better. There is that time of letting go as they leave for college or move out on their own. And it feels like our job is over, but oh, no, the best part starts in the next chapter. Being a grandparent comes with the rewards we didn’t see in motherhood.
The Perks of Being Grand!
Now that I’ve graduated to grand, there are really a lot of perks in this season. My number one perk is that I do not have to own the discipline. As Mom, I had years to worry about each decision I made. My mommy guilt would question did I scar them with how I chose to handle the consequence of their wrong choices? Now I’ve come out the other side and know that, no, they survived and so did I. Now my role is to support the value system that my child as a parent chooses to use to guide their children in making wise choices.
Promoted to Playmate
Another favorite is that I have more time to play and add the fun factor. As a mom, I believed in the value of tapping into your child’s imagination. But being in mom mode meant that I was always “on the go” running after the routine. As a grandmother, I’ve learned to “stop and smell the roses” as they say. When I know I’m spending time with my grandchildren, they get my undivided attention. I can sit and play without worrying about whether “it” gets done.
A Cheerleader for Mom
It seems like all the focus of grandparenting may be on the grandchildren, but there is a role that I know is very important to my adult children. It is that of being an encourager. I wasn’t always sure if I was getting it right when I was parenting. I just wondered how they would turn out. We are doing the hard work, but we can’t see the results right away. Looking back, I can now say for sure that your consistency, shed tears, and prayers for your child will be rewarded. Moms need cheerleaders, someone letting them know, “It’s ok, you got this!” One day all the seeds you’re planting will bloom into an amazing adult.
The common denominator between being a mom and a grandmother is the immense and unconditional love we have for our children and grandchildren.
I’m so glad that I endured the tough days of motherhood to be able to live in this new season. I’ve graduated to Grand!!!