Mom, Don’t Forget About Yourself: Tips for Keeping Your Identity


Motherhood doesn’t mean leaving your identity aside. As new moms we have a tendency to concentrate 100% on the new member of the family, forgetting about all the changes that are happening to the mom. The truth is that when a baby is born a new mom is also born. 

Motherhood represents a totally new chapter in life that comes with its own feelings, fears, questions, concerns, routines and more. So, postpartum is generally the time when you get to meet a totally new you that also needs care.

Don’t Forget About Yourself

It is ok to give yourself time to adjust to this new facet of life. However, that doesn’t mean that you disappear as your own being.  In motherhood but especially as a new mom, it is easy to get lost and overwhelmed between diapers, milk, so many sleepless nights and even feeling depressed.

It is important to understand that everything is temporary. As a mom, you are an essential part of this beautiful transformation. So, make yourself a priority, and remember that a happy mom is always reflected in a happy baby.

Mom Don't Forget About Yourself: Tips for Keeping Your Identity Daniela Naime Contributor Miami Moms Blog

Stay Healthy Emotionally and Physically

Take time to take care of yourself, exercise and prioritize your health. Time for pampering is also important. Do some exercise and eat a balanced diet. You will need a lot of energy and good defenses. Spend time with your friends and retake everything that made you happy before becoming a mom and entering the motherhood zone. Obviously, step by step and in your own time.

Remember that being a mother does not imply that we stop being a woman. It is also important to take care of yourself and raise your self-esteem. As I often say, our emotions are everything

Expectation vs. Reality

Not everything that you see on social media is real. Don’t get influenced by the fantasy of Pinterest, where everything is perfect and easy! I know how hard it is to not get frustrated watching all those perfect moms explaining how motherhood should be.

But the worst thing that you can have at this moment is unrealistic expectations. Understand that there are phases and stages in motherhood and that we don’t have to be perfect moms or comply with everything society expects us to be.

A Happy Mom Equals a Happy Baby

Our children understand and observe everything from birth and if we provide them with an environment of happiness they will be happier and more independent children. Keep in mind that with time quality is more important than quantity. The important thing is that when we are with them we are present, not attached to the cellphone. So let’s play, make plans for them, and create memories together.

Mom Don't Forget About Yourself: Tips for Keeping Your Identity Daniela Naime Contributor Miami Moms Blog

Moms Also Need Space

It is important to teach your kids that moms are humans too. That we’ll always be there for them but that they have to respect our space and privacy. Create boundaries when they are little. It will help them in the future, understanding that not everything is possible and that there are norms that have to be followed. 

Learn to Delegate

This is a hard one, at least for me. When I had my baby, I used to feel that nobody could do things as I wanted them to be done.  Look for support in your family, partner/husband. Involve other family members and accept that sometimes you will need to ask them for help.


It is time to put everything in perspective. Understand that you won’t be able to complete all the tasks in the same way you used to, at least at the beginning. As a new mom, it is time to make a list of your priorities. Don’t forget time for taking care of yourself. Many times you will have to choose between a clean house, a happy baby and being a perfect mom. 

Love Yourself, Accept You, Be Good to Yourself

Part of being a happy mom and generally in life is to embrace our limitations. We don’t have to be perfect in every aspect of our life, but that doesn’t mean we are doing it the wrong way. On the contrary, stop judging yourself and start congratulating your daily achievements as a mom and in motherhood in general. Because keeping a little human being alive and healthy is not an easy task.

Above all things, value every moment, every situation and turn it into learning. Your baby will be a newborn only once in a lifetime.



  1. This was a great post. I totally realized in hind sight that I had a pretty intense identity crisis after having my kids and had to do a little soul-searching and “coming to Jesus” to get back to me- or rather, come to terms with the new me that was forming.

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