Moms: Why are we so hard on ourselves?
I know I usually write about fashion, but I wanted to share a personal story that has affected me deeply. I’m usually a very private person who does not let my heart out to the world, but I felt that maybe if I shared this it would help at least one mom not feel so down on herself. I also feel that there is this stigma when it comes to discussing health issues with people. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, but if this reaches one family going through the same thing, then why not have them feel like they aren’t alone in this!
A little about our family and what we’ve experienced…
Earlier this year, my oldest was diagnosed with a kidney disorder. Let me rewind and tell you a little about us as a family… we mainly eat home-cooked food loaded with garlic and onion. Are my kids the greatest eaters? No, but we do love avocado toast, black beans, meat, lentils, pasta, chocolate, Indian and Persian food. In fact, my kids have never even really had fast food… maybe fries and chicken fingers every once in a while, but that’s about it. When we do eat out, my kids’ faves are Thai, sushi, and Mediterranean. I use essential oils (begrudgingly to my husband, a major skeptic, but he loves me and goes along with it). Now you could look at that list and tell me that I could add something or take away something… but this is the way we live.
Now back to our story. This diagnosis blindsided us. She went in for swollen eyes, so everyone said allergic reaction. No big deal right? I will never forget sitting at the pediatrician’s office and her saying, this is not an allergic reaction, this is her kidney. I wanted to break down and cry right there, but I did not because I had to be strong and optimistic for my amazing child. My husband is the one who always remains calm and knows how to handle any situation. I am really trying to learn from him.
She was hospitalized for 4 days and was diagnosed with nephrotic syndrome. No cause, no reason, no explanation. It could be a one-time thing or not. This led us down a road of daily medication and visits to the specialist. As scary as it was, we handled it as a family.
And then the overthinking process began.
Throughout the entire process, I analyzed everything that we fed her, every adventure we exposed her to, every animal we allowed her to come in contact with (she is a major lizard and reptile lover) and cried from time to time when she wasn’t home or around. I vented to my best friends. I did what I could to relieve the stress and uncertainty.
After all the over-analysis, I determined that my husband and I have provided a beautiful life for our children. We would not take anything back. This is something that happened and we are dealing with it the best we can. It has made us realize what a special girl we have because never once has she let this set her back. She maintained excellent grades, scored in some of the highest percentiles for SAT, but more importantly she maintained her beautiful spirit.
Understand that things happen, but you need to learn how to cope!
So Mama, if you are going through something similar, take your time to process it in whatever way you need to. You are allowed to cry, you are allowed to take a long, hot bath, you are allowed to indulge in retail therapy and brownies. But pick yourself up and handle it. Why? Because you are a tough mother and because your baby needs you!
We are almost out of the woods, so fingers crossed. But, whatever comes our way, we got this!
