There have been a lot of new feelings and experiences I’ve had since becoming a mother, and I have learned a lot. But recently I have kept going over and over, in my mind, the things I wish I would’ve known about motherhood when I was expecting my first child. And I want to share this with you. So here’s my letter to you, from one honest mother to another.
I know you are excited about your baby coming into this world, and you should be! As scared as you might feel I just want to let you know that this little person will absolutely change your life, for the better.
I want you to know that birthing your baby should come with a bright gold trophy to congratulate you for what you are about to do. And know that even when your birth doesn’t go as you thought it would, you birthed that baby with a strength you never thought would be possible. Now that your baby is here, and no matter what happened, you are still the only person your baby knows more than anyone else in the world.
You are now a MOTHER.
Knowing what your baby needs those first days of life is no walk in the park. And feeding your baby is one of those tough decisions you will have to make. I want to tell you what I wish I would’ve known–that choosing to breastfeed may not be easy–and if it is what you want to do it will take time and knowledge to do it.
Seek help.
Ask for help from someone who can guide you and teach you how to do it. Breastfeeding is not something that “just comes naturally;” it takes time and effort and knowledge from someone who’s done it before. So don’t feel discouraged… seek help from someone you trust who’s done it before.
I had to learn the hard way, that no matter if you choose to breastfeed or to formula feed people will still judge your decision. And that’s just the beginning of what motherhood is like. But I have good news: there are people out there who will encourage you and love you, whether it is your partner, your family or even another mother who knows exactly what you are going through. You are choosing the best decision you can for your child. And remember: you are just learning.
It gets better!
Now that you and baby are home, here comes the crash course on motherhood. Waking up every couple of hours around the clock to feed, or cuddle, or rock, even at 3AM after not a lot of sleep, is something you may have never done before. Can I tell you a secret? It’s okay to not like this at first. Ask any mother or father how much they “loved” to be up every couple of hours to tend to a little person who cries a lot. It’s okay. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your child, it just takes time to create a relationship with someone, especially someone new. But let me tell you, OH! It gets better! It gets so much better!
Your child, in what will seem like forever to you, but in a matter of seconds to everyone else, will begin to recognize you and smile at you, and laugh, and hold your finger with their tiny hands, and you will begin to feel like you’ve got this. You will begin to recognize what your child needs more than anyone else and it will be the most beautiful thing in the world. And though it might seem like every other mother has got this and you don’t, soon enough there will only be one person who can calm those cries; you, Mom.
And though it might not happen right away, don’t be discouraged. Every mother knows what it’s like, and suddenly you will find a village of mothers who will help you navigate through this journey and let you know you are doing an incredible job! And I’m right there with them.
Know that though being a mother is one of the toughest jobs anyone could ever do, what you do matters. The love that you show, and the time that you give to this little person in front of you will not go unnoticed. The journey is long but it is a beautiful journey that you are about to embark on.
