The more I grow in my own motherhood the more I understand my husband’s parenting skills are just the ones I sometimes lack and exactly what my family needs. Yes, after getting stressed out with him many times for not doing everything my way, I’m admitting on a very public platform that I absolutely love his parenting style and have learned quite a lot from observing him with the kiddos through the years.
The more I talk to my friends and see dads in action with their children, the more I confirm dads are wired in a special way that supplements mom’s role. Many day-to-day parenting routines are handled differently when Dad is in charge. And I find it fascinating. So, to show my husband how much I appreciate everything he does and celebrate the great father he is, I have summarized the 5 best dad hacks I have learned and continue to admire from him.
Guilt-free living
In my first almost decade of motherhood, I’m still in awe of this one. Dealing with guilt has been one of my biggest battles. But when I see my husband with our children, I see a man who’s free from the weight of guilt. Of course, dads experience feelings of guilt and regret, but they have a special ability to not focus on such negative feelings. Dad embraces and enjoys what he can do with and for his children, and puts aside what he can’t or couldn’t do. It’s the capacity to see the glass half full, to quickly learn from mistakes, embrace what he has, and make the most out of it.
Got back home late from work this evening? He doesn’t waste time feeling guilty about it. He hugs the children and plays with them making the most out of a few minutes of the day. The kids are happy, Dad is happy, and life goes on.
Good sense of humor
The baby ate an insect or food from the floor, ran out of clean underwear, the juice got spilled on the table, clothes got messed up right before leaving the house, insert here any example of a stressful situation for Mom and see how it becomes a funny situation for Dad. He is not going to waste time getting stressed out about something “minor” that can be resolved in a few minutes. Or maybe that can’t be resolved at all. He will make a joke (sometimes a fart joke) and we laugh. I appreciate his ability to make our days lighter with his good sense of humor.
Practical and creative solutions
Dads are experts in coming up with hacks. These creative solutions may not be ideal all the time, much less perfect, but I admit his ideas are practical, functional, pretty clever, and sometimes funny. I’ll never forget how he used stuffed animals to hold our babies’ bottles whenever he needed to multitask while feeding them. Not ideal, but it worked and it was funny.
Flexibility and fun
I remember when my baby sister was born, my mom was recovering from birth and my dad was in charge. He made fried plantain with white shredded cheese and chocolate milk for breakfast. My mom wasn’t happy, but my brother and I loved our non-nutritious fun breakfast, made by papi.
With practicality comes flexibility and this is a positive attribute Dad brings to the table, providing a healthy balance to daily routines. While having structured and organized routines is good for the family, dads lighten up everyone’s day by putting a frozen pizza in the oven in the middle of the week, turning on the TV for the kids at a time when Mom wouldn’t do so, skipping bath time (my kids love this one, although I don’t like to admit it), helping with homework a little more than they should just to give the kids a bit of extra free time, and many more examples.
Connecting with the kids
This one is not a dad hack. But I had to add it to the list of attributes I admire about my husband. Daddy’s style comes to life when he connects with the kids on a daily basis. The way he plays with them, the gestures, the hugs, even the words of affirmation and love are different than Mom’s and little by little create a connection with the children that’s uniquely special. Dads know how to be playful and fun, and at the same time be firm when needed and provide safety and security through the authority God has given them as head of the household and priests of their families.
My children love to be thrown in bed by daddy at night. I sometimes prefer to not see, because I’m always thinking they can land wrongly and get hurt. Truth is, they go to bed laughing and happy. Rough play is important and necessary, especially for our boys and I have learned to appreciate and love the way Dad interacts with our kids and how this evolves as they grow up.
The more I see and experience the differences between moms’ and dads’ parenting style (differences I used to dislike), the more I admire and love my husband, and the more I love God’s wisdom and perfect design for the family.
