8 Tips for Taking Kids to a Retirement Home

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8 Tips for Taking Kids to a Retirement Home

Start with the why.

Start with the why because when you’re working with children, you can get so caught up in the how and the what that you lose sight of your purpose. 

What you do and how you do it are often dictated to you through circumstances and the imperious nature of children. The why becomes a distant and quixotic notion lost in a cloud of crumbled goldfish crackers, judiciously applied sunscreen, and demands for their Contigo water bottle. 

I say this because if you were inspired by my last post describing the delightful scene of preschoolers showering love on the forgotten elderly, and happened to plan a philanthropic outing of your own, somewhere in the middle of your visit you may start to ask yourself: Why? 

As you find yourself reaching between the spokes of a wheelchair to grab your son just before he picks up a half-sucked Werthers off a linoleum floor, you might begin to ask yourself: Why? 

And as your daughter begins a game of tag that ends with you chasing her down the hall of the living quarters and smiling apologetically at the quizzical faces of the nursing staff… you may begin to have some more choice words to describe your feelings of doubt. 

So start with the why. Be patient as the what and the how align with your vision. Be consistent in demonstrating what matters to you most.

8 Tips for Taking Kids to a Retirement Home 

Some of our visits to the retirement home went exactly as planned, some were cut short as we took our cue to get out while the gettin’s good. Here are some tips for planning a successful visit to a retirement home with your little ones. 

  1. Do your research. Before you trek out there with your group of kind-hearted mothers, check out the retirement home yourself. Make sure that you are comfortable bringing your children there. Set up a meeting with the Volunteer Coordinator or Activities Director to introduce yourself and discuss how your visit will work. If possible, meet the head nurse or whoever is in charge of the residents’ daily schedules.
  2. Schedule a consistent time. Find a time that works with your babies’ nap schedules and the retirement home, and repeat the same time every month. Consistency with your schedule helps the home plan activities and allows your moms to plan around your visits. We found the first Monday at 10AM worked well for us
  3. Designate a meeting place. Find a meeting spot to gather before your visit so everyone can enter together. When we first started our visits, we met in the lobby and quickly remembered that unruly toddlers are not necessarily appreciated by friendly receptions who are “just trying to hear what the lady on the phone is saying.” We found a nice bench outside.
  4. Be on time. Be clear with your mom friends that you will need to enter on time and that those who are running late can meet you inside. Children have a limited amount of time that they can be “on,” and you don’t want to waste it before you are with your new friends inside the retirement home
  5. Over-plan your agenda. Come up with a list of 5-7 songs that everyone, especially the kids, know and are comfortable with, along with some songs that may be favorites with the residents. The Wheels On the Bus, If You’re Happy and You Know It, Skidamarink, Head Shoulders Knees and Toes, Jesus Loves Me, and You are My Sunshine always go over well. Read your crowd: if it looks like the kids are going along with things and everyone is enjoying themselves, sing one more. Otherwise, it is fine to cut things short
  6. Come bearing gifts. After we sang songs, we had some time for the kids to go to each person and say hello. As an icebreaker, the kids would make homemade cards and pictures to pass out. When it is ok with the nursing staff, cookies and hard candies are a great treat as well. If your child is more quiet or feels uncertain going up to the residents, the important job of handing out a gift is an excellent bridge
  7. Play up the cute factor. There are those days when the best your kids can do is walk right in and walk right out. Dial up the adorableness by dressing the kids in themed outfits (holidays are always easy to play off of) so their entrance can turn into a parade of sorts.
  8. Get while the getting’s good. Have you noticed a theme here? 😉 Don’t push your kids too far with the visits. Even if things are still going well, it may still be appropriate to end the visit after 15-20 minutes so you can keep that positive momentum going for next time. We usually made our exit with our ‘Goodbye Song,’ sung to the tune of ‘Happy Birthday.’ Goodbye to you, Goodbye to you. Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye to you! We’ll see you real soon, We’ll see you real soon. We’ll see you, We’ll see you, We’ll see you real soon!

So if you’re motivated by the why,  go give the what and how a try. And if you’re in the Miami area and want to join us on our visits, please reach out to me in the comments. We would love to have you along!