Young Children and COVID19: How Much Is Too Much?

My Struggle

For the first 4 weeks of this COVID19 pandemic, my daughter believed we were all on “holiday” (that’s what she calls vacations).  Honestly, for the first couple of weeks, I did not even contemplate telling her.  She was told we were on vacation from school and work and that was that.  Because of the busy lifestyle we have, she quickly realized that this “holiday” was different from all the others.   

Jessie is 4 and filled with lots and lots of WHY questions.  I knew it wouldn’t be long before her attention shifted to “Why aren’t we going to school?” and ” Why can’t I go play with my friends?” and ” Why oh why can’t we go to Target mommy?” 

My biggest fear with telling her about COVID wasn’t that she wouldn’t understand, but more so that she would be overcome with fear and anxiety.  I was nervous I wouldn’t have all the answers or that I would get it all wrong. 

Introducing the Virus

So there we were week 5 of quarantine, day number 763526!  My curious little girl couldn’t take any more excuses.  She broke down and began to sob because she missed her school and her friends.  My husband and I decided that we should tell her the truth (in a PG way of course). 

I sat across from my crying 4-year-old and explained to her that the reason we were all home and weren’t allowed to see our friends and family was because we didn’t want to get sick or to get others sick.  I drew her a picture of a green glob (the virus) and explained to her that there is now a virus going around that is making people get sick.  That in order to stop the virus we had to stay home and that’s why she saw everyone wearing masks when we would go on our drives.  

Her reaction was of course not what I expected as she completely blew me off and asked for another snack.  I took this as a sign that maybe she wasn’t ready, didn’t understand or quite frankly just didn’t care. 

Second Time’s a Charm 

After a couple days and some research, I attempted to explain COVID19 to her again.  I started by asking what she knew about why we were all staying home.  Then I explained to her that the virus was like the flu (she is familiar with this so it helped) and that some people get it and others don’t.  I told her that if we stay home and wash our hands, that we are doing our job to stay safe and keep others safe.  I also expressed to her that I was always available for questions she might have.  

This time I received lots of questions.  “Why did the virus come here?” and “Why/how do we wear masks?” but most importantly, “Can I have a Frozen mask?”

Since that day, we have watched a couple videos about the virus, learned new songs to sing while washing our hands, and said a few prayers to keep our friends and family safe. 

Needless to say, the questions have continued but I have to admit it feels much better being honest with her.  I still have my fears of overwhelming her with answers she may not be ready for.  But we are making it together, one quarantined day at a time!

Some Resources I Found Helpful

1. KidsHealth article on how to talk to your kids about COVID19
2. PBS Kids Daniel Tiger episode, Daniel Gets a Cold, available online along with short songs that are relevant (Rest is Best, Germs, Germs Go Away)
3. CDC website for accurate information and an article about how to talk to your children about COVID19