Do This ONE Thing to Drastically Improve Airplane Travel with Little Kids
First, allow me to lay out my credentials for you. I have four small children (ages 1, 3, 4, 7). In the last year, we have flown on no less than 18 airplanes. A few of those flights were international and involved being on the plane for 10 hours with all of those beautiful children.
Why do I tell you this information? For one, if there is anyone who reads every possible article, piece of advice, and travel hack for flying with children – it’s me. Secondly, I hope my credentials add some weight to the one (just one) piece of advice I have for any parents feeling uneasy about the idea of airplane travel with small children in tow.
Of all the things I’m learning and experiencing while herding children through airports and airplanes, there’s one thing I’m finding to be the most valuable of all.
Set clear expectations for your children when traveling.
I’m not talking about giving a little pep-talk the day before the flight. No, no, no. This will take a little more intentional effort on your part, as the parent. You’ll reap what you sow – and that can be a positive thing if you do the work.
We want to set children up for success by giving them very clear expectations about navigating an airport and riding on an airplane. You can solve most of your travel woes by doing this and only this (no bribes, no threats, no excessive yelling necessary).
If you want your children to behave in a specific way, set them up for success beforehand.
Weeks before your plane is set to take off, start discussing some things with your child. For example, you can start by talking about what it will be like at the airport. There’s a great book for kids called How Airports Work with interesting facts and wonderful illustrations (and flaps to lift, too). Consider getting your hands on a copy so you can leisurely discuss the ins and outs of an airport with your children.
Another idea for helping set expectations would be through role-playing. Grab some chairs from the kitchen table and set them up like seats on the airplane. Talk about what you’ll see inside the airplane and what type of behaviors are good and bad. Next, you can act out some behaviors, like having a child sit in front of you while you kick the back of their seat. Discuss how that might bother someone and how we shouldn’t do it.
Continue having these discussions with your kids, little by little. Review things you’ve already discussed and then add a new topic. Remember, you’re setting them up for successful airplane travel.
You won’t be able to role-play and discuss every possible scenario. You also don’t want to overwhelm your kids with too much information. Some of your expectations will have to be voiced out loud to your kids just minutes beforehand.
Here are a few, real-life examples from our recent travels:
Sometimes when we arrive at the airport, the check-in line is very long. As soon as I notice this, I get my children’s attention and say something like, “OK you guys, it looks like we have to wait in a long line. This won’t be a very fun part of our travels but it’s a very important part. If we don’t get our tickets, then we can’t get on the plane. That would be sad, wouldn’t it?”
As we approach TSA, I give my children a heads-up about what is going to happen.
I might say, “We’re about to have to put ALL of our stuff on this conveyer belt. They’re going to look at it and make sure it’s safe. Mommy is going to have to move a little fast, so I need you to obey me right away. These workers are just trying to keep us safe. They have to check us to make sure we aren’t carrying things on to the plane that might hurt people.”
And for those of you who have children with loveys are blankets, let them know they’ll need to put that on the conveyer belt as well. You can say, “Bunny is going to go on a fun ride through this machine. She’s going to wait for you on the other side!” If you prepare your child in advance, it makes a meltdown in front of TSA far less-likely.
Once on the airplane, I remind my children of the rules. I point out the light with the seatbelt and tell them what it means. When the pilot announces the descent, I start telling my children to put their stuff away and put their shoes back on. When it’s time to get off the airplane, I take a moment to tell each kid who they need to be following. All of these things are small things to do but it makes a huge difference and keeps everyone aware of what’s going on. In the moments when I forget to give a heads-up, we all get frazzled and out of sorts.
All of this boils down to you, the parent, setting expectations – whether that’s weeks in advance or a couple minutes beforehand. We cannot expect our children to automatically know what’s going on in an airport or in an airplane if that is something they’ve never done before or rarely do. Unmet expectations cause parents to lose their cool while unclear expectations cause children to lose theirs.
Speaking of losing your cool, let’s be real, it happens — even to the well-traveled family. For the times when (not if) you mess up and flip out on your kids, simply get down at eye-level, apologize, and ask for forgiveness. For every moment I lose my temper with my kids, I hope they’ll also remember when their mother humbled herself, admitted when she was wrong, and apologized.
Airplane travel is stressful and sometimes things happen too fast to give a play-by-play. Just explain it all to the kids afterward. Learn from it and extend grace to everyone, including yourself.
Keep calm and carry on with your carry-ons, mamas.
