An Open Letter to Moms Who Hate Cooking

Okay, maybe you aren’t a mom who hates cooking. Loathe? Strongly dislike? Maybe your feelings resemble mine, and are best summed up with “I’d really rather not.” Wherever you find yourself on this spectrum, I see you.

“If I have to stir it, it’s homemade.” Unknown

Food for thought.

I know the weight of the stereotype you’re burdened with. Being female automatically equals a love for all things kitchen and meal prep. At least, that’s what the lies we’ve been believing tell us.

We’ve never been that kitchen-loving human, though. The love of kitchen has been equated with a love of family. It’s put us in a real pickle, friends.

(Brace yourselves for all the food metaphors!)

Stirring up all kinds of emotions.

Sure, us moms who hate cooking blame it on so many things. 

“Kitchen clean-up is the worst.”

“All the meal prep and cooking stuff takes sooooooo long.”

“I’m a terrible cook.”

Could there be something else that’s holding us back, though? Some truth is just too difficult to swallow.

Taking stock of what really matters. 

We’ve dished out more self-criticism than we can take.

It’s time to re-evaluate our priorities. Loving all the kitchenly meal prep things is not the most important thing we can provide for our families.

The most important job we have is to love and care for our families as best as we can.

Where is it written that we must enjoy working in the kitchen in order to love our families? Somewhere along the way, we’ve believed it was a requirement to love all the kitchenly meal prep things. These unrealistic expectations are a recipe for disaster.

Time to simmer down.

Moms who hate cooking–there is freedom that can only come once truth is acknowledged. I’ll take all the freedom I can get, so let’s acknowledge some truth, shall we?

Repeat after me:

I do not have to like all this *waves hands frantically around the kitchen* to be a good wife or mom or human.

I am not less of a person because I don’t like to cook.

Our plates are full.

We don’t have room for things that were never required of us in the first place. When we free up space previously held by unrealistic expectations, we can consider new possibilities.

Liking a thing isn’t a requirement to do a thing, especially if that thing gives us an extra opportunity to love on our families.

Being able to feed our families is a blessing. Loving and caring for our family means we should keep our eyes peeled for ways to bless them. A meal served with love and kindness is one way we can do that.

We can learn to cook and meal plan and all the kitchenly things in a way that makes sense to us. 

Instead of comparison and condemnation, those that love all the kitchenly things can be a source of inspiration and encouragement for us. 

Serving up some suggestions.

Acknowledging the truth about how I feel in regards to all things kitchen and cooking has given me some freedom in an area I’ve felt shame in for so long.

I’m free to be thankful for a daughter that loves to bake more than I do.

There’s freedom to explore creative ideas in the kitchen because I want to, and not because I feel I have to for my family’s approval and acceptance.

I’ll end with something I shared on Twitter a little over a month ago:

“I’ve never really loved all the kitchenly meal prep things. I’ve often felt less than as a mom because of it. So when my kids start roasting veggies, not because they’ve had a lifetime of seeing me do it, but just because, it hits me. I can be a good mom AND not love the kitchen.” 

Just don’t forget to give yourself a few moments to digest it all before you rush off to the kitchen with all that fresh confidence.