Parenting well is important to most, if not all. But is our parenting style the right approach? Let’s review the 4 most common styles and what the outcomes tend to be for our children.
- Authoritarian Parenting
Parents that fall under this parenting style, usually have very strict rules and enforce them with an iron fist. This style of parenting usually leads to punishment instead of discipline. If you think these two outcomes are the same, they are not. Punishment instead of discipline is inflicting suffering when someone does not follow the rules.
Children with authoritarian parents tend to be obedient but may lack self-esteem. - Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parenting is based on rules followed, but tend to be more understanding and forgiving, when they are not. This is the parenting style I pride myself in following. This style creates a support system for children and allows them to become more independent and self-regulating. There is a lot more listening and compromising than a dictatorship.
Children with authoritarian parents tend to be happier and possibly very successful. - Permissive Parenting
Parents with a Permissive style, tend to be less demanding than Authoritative and Authoritarian styles. Preferring to avoid confrontation they tend to take more of a friend approach than a parent approach to avoid confrontation.
Children with permissive parents may have issues with authority. - Uninvolved Parenting
The name pretty much says it all, uninvolved. Uninvolved parents are detached, distant and at times neglectful. They will usually care for the basic of needs but offer little or no guidance.
Children with uninvolved parents may tend to have low self-esteem and self-control.
As a parent, we should want our children to be better than us. We want them to become self-sufficient and happy adults. But how do we do that?
Rules and discipline are important, but educating our children when they fail is an important process. Speaking through their thought process and the outcome is a good start. Ask the important questions:
For example: What made you want to take that action? Did you know you were doing something wrong? How would you do it differently next time?
There are many subtle ways to be a part of our children’s lives. Try taking the time to think through your responses and actions prior to delivery; it could make all the difference in the world.
