Your Daughter: She’s Lucky To Have You As Her Mom

A friend of mine needed me. She needed advice on a situation she was in that had her confused, lonely, a little wobbly.  A tough season of marriage.  One that has left her asking questions and trying so hard to push through the fears and the what ifs and the seemingly lost love. 

We live states apart which often has us texting at random hours throughout our days – and nights.  This time was no different.  I did my best to give her what I know and have learned about marriage.  Having been married, divorced and remarried for 8 years, I have faced many highs and lows.  I have been on my knees, I have also reached out to friends in my own crisis, needing wisdom and words to keep me afloat, even for the night.

56 texts later, she ended with words that caused my eyes to swell up with tears.  “Zoey is seriously so lucky to have you as her mom.”

If I am honest, it had been a while that I had that reminder and in the daily routine of mothering, I, on that day, probably would have given myself a C+ in the school of being a mom. (And I’ve only gotten 2 C+es in my entire life if that tells you something.)  

But I decided to stop and change the narrative as a result of what she said to me.  I received her words like a gift.  Thank you.

And I sat in awe thinking about how Zoey sees me, how one day she and I will have tough conversations that go beyond me reminding her to have manners and to watch her tone of voice. 

How she will need me when she feels at her lowest.

How I will remind her of God’s love for her, His plan for her life.

How I can help her by sharing my testimony, sharing with her how I overcame challenges.

How there is enough grace to get her through.

These daily mothering tactics we use do matter.  They matter more than I have ever believed.  And the thought of how the pain I have experienced could one day help Zoey, perhaps.   

That actually I am here to guide her well and she may look up to me.  She will come to me for help, texting me late at night because she trusts me and she knows that I will have some voice of reason over her life. 

She’s lucky to have me.

Wow.  This changed me.  Wrecked me in the best way possible. 

It’s hard for me to receive compliments but for some reason, on this night that my friend typed those words to me, I received what she said.  Fully.  I went from feeling guilty to feeling free.  God used her to remind me of this beautiful, intimate and unique relationship I am creating with my daughter.  That I will first always be her mother, but we will have a friendship that runs deep.  That after years of chipping away at mothering, we will be able to experience a bond that leaves us at a loss for words.  The bond of a mother and daughter. 

Now, here it comes.  Your daughter is lucky to have you as her mom.

Make no mistake God was very intentional in making YOU her mom.  Your mothering – while sometimes on shaky ground, sometimes imperfect – matters. It matters deeply and on the days you don’t feel worthy or you mess up, remember we are all in this together, fighting the same battles but also encouraging and celebrating each other.

And maybe – just maybe – we could start to see this relationship differently.  We could start seeing ourselves differently within the relationship. 

Not guilt-focused.  But good-focused. 

Not for the failures.  But for the joy.

Not for questioning if we are doing it right.  But for the heart behind why we are doing it at all.

Not to compare.  But to celebrate the uniqueness of this beautiful relationship.

Not for the woes.  But for the wisdom we have consistently been imparting on her life.

Not for the times she doesn’t listen.  But for the times she does.  (Because she is listening far more than we know.)

Because the good, the joy, the heart, the celebrating, the wisdom, the successes – she is going to remember this and God is going to use all of it.  She will remember the work you have done to help shape her into the woman she will be one day. 

Your daughter won’t count your failures, so why are we counting them for ourselves?  

Grace is at the core of this relationship, let’s receive that and live freely while we mother these sweet girls.  Is there a mom in your life that needs to be celebrated?  Maybe it’s your own mom.  Maybe it’s your grandmother.  Or your best friend.  Bless them with these words as they may just change her life.  It did for me.

She is lucky to have you as her mom.