Being pregnant may sometimes take a toll on marriage because of several changes happening, especially for the mommy-to-be. It’s selfish for us women to think that we are the only ones going through this experience, because although our spouses are not physically carrying a baby for nine months, they share with us and are experiencing change, too! I remember during my first pregnancy, how I would lash out at my husband for not understanding my hunger pains in the first trimester. All I knew was that I needed to eat and that he needed to feed me then and there and not a minute late. He would just stare at me baffled and confused, probably thinking, “Who is this woman and what has she done to my wife?!”
After receiving advice from my dear mother and reading pregnancy blogs, I understood what was happening to me and us. I had to realize everything was changing and this chapter in our lives was something new to the both of us. Unlike me, my husband was neither reading self-help pregnancy blogs, books, nor seeking advice; therefore, he had no idea what was happening to me and how to help make our lives easier. The truth is, most men may not seek guidance in becoming a new dad. I noticed this about my husband and hence, I began to forward him articles I would read online that I thought would be beneficial for both of us. It turned out he would read it most of the time. So, if you are currently pregnant, please grab your husband, and tell him that this blog is for him.
Here are a few ways to make a woman happy throughout pregnancy:
- If she can’t figure out what to eat, give her as many options as possible. All she knows right now is that she is hungry and she needs to eat ASAP. Make it your duty to have a list of options for her and she will love you even more. Beware: she may not like what she chooses either. With all the hormonal changes occurring in her body, it’s all a game of trial and error in the first trimester. This will hopefully subside on week 13.
- Be understanding with her sense of smell. If she suddenly cannot stand the smell of something, try to get rid of it ASAP. Sometimes, a certain smell can trigger nausea. Throughout the first trimester of all 3 of my pregnancies, I could not stand the smell of coffee. The crazy part was that I went from being a coffee addict to not being able to smell its aroma from a mile away! I asked my husband to refrain from brewing until further notice and one day, I arrived home and knew he had been brewing coffee although he said he hadn’t (with a mischievous yet frightened stare). Then he admitted to making himself a cup of coffee in the farthest corner of our apt. – inside a closet. He never did it again!
- Understand that she is in a highly emotional state. As if women aren’t emotional enough, add a pregnancy and you will uncover a new level of being emotional. I found that in my second and third pregnancies (carrying baby girls) I was highly sensitive, as opposed to being pregnant with my baby boy. I would find myself crying over sad news or reading a traumatic article online. Husbands, try to be as understanding as you can and stop your pregnant wife from reading sad news or stories.
- If something is bothering her, try to find out what it is. Pregnant or not, when something is bothering her and you sense it, find out what it is. Ask politely until she opens up. Communication is key in every relationship. Don’t let her go to sleep bothered.
- Be extra affectionate with her. Give her lots of hugs and kisses. If she is all about physical touch (like Moi), she will feel loved by your hugs and kisses. The more the merrier.
- Pick up anything that falls on the floor – don’t wait for her to ask. She will be forever grateful. You have no idea what this means to a pregnant woman. Especially the closer she gets to her 3rd trimester.
- Massage her back. A baby bump can cause stress on the middle and lower back because of the added weight. A quick 5-minute massage will make her feel better.
- Help her roll out of bed (LOL). This is needed near your baby’s due date. Sometimes, I find myself stuck for a minute trying to push myself out of bed. My husband has always pushed me up out of bed the closer I’ve been to my due date.
- Help her put on her shoes. Chances are she can’t even see her feet right now; please help her put on her shoes unless she tells you otherwise.
- If you’re both lying down in bed and she happens to forget something in the kitchen, get up and get it for her! No explanation needed.
- Tell her she looks beautiful! Uplifting words are the easiest way to make women happy and it’s FREE! Telling her she looks beautiful will always make her day.
- Tell her how happy she makes you. Same as above. Words have so much power and when we say kind things to one another, everything changes for the better.
- Surprise her with flowers and a love note. Continue to date her. In a few weeks, there will be a new person in your home and you may be too tired during the early weeks of parenting a newborn, so buy her flowers now – and add a love note!
- Take candid photos of her and her baby bump. I wish I would have taken more photos of my bump during my first pregnancy. Candids are even better! Whenever you see her rubbing her bump, snap away, or whenever you see her standing from a distance, capture that soon-to-be missed moment.
- Be patient. Please be patient with her. Understand the hundreds of thoughts, emotions, and changes that she is experiencing. Be patient. Pregnancy is a beautiful stage and with you by her side, you can make this experience all the more beautiful all by being patient.