Day 51, day 98, day 145… what day is it anyway? June, is that you? Has half the year already gone by?
Thanks, reality!
Let’s reflect for a second. Who remembers January? Oh, yes, January 2020. Such a promising and optimistic time. I had 20/20 vision then. I had fuel in my gut, fire in my heart, and a brand-new planner! Interests, goals, and aspirations all seemed so near and clear. I was a woman with power and time. My vision gave me identity. I was “WOMAN!” Goodness, I could hear myself roar. That day, in that promising thought, I had a swing in my step. I was a mom on a mission. A mom with swag – like mom jeans-wearing swag – with clean hair and a waxed upper lip.
Then I got home, made eye contact with my pile of laundry, and fast forward to today, still here. And there went 6 months. Now that we have completed the reflection portion of this dramatic exercise, let’s dust off and find this woman we know lives in us.
Question is, do we wait until January 2021? That is our year. I mean it’s our favorite number – must be our year! But who are we kidding? We are resilient women! We have endured bigger things than our own stubborn patterns of Groundhog Day, which have led us to a motionless, repetitive case of reactive behavior in our own comfort spaces. We’ve got this.
Great! I’m pumped, what do I do?
3 Simple Steps
Here is the answer: Reflect, Re-Design, Re-Activate
I have developed some strategic and realistic exercises you can get started on immediately to help you get back on track. Let’s talk about reflection. Why is it important to reflect?
Reflection Strategy
Conscious reflection allows for a real-life self-evaluation. I emphasize conscious for a very specific reason. It is a deliberate awareness and tactic. It is a brain massage for the mind. Let us look at what we have and have not done so we can improve, adjust, and use as tools for growth. Now, take note, reflection is not the time to beat yourself up for what and why you haven’t completed something. This is also not the time to come up with 101 reasons why you haven’t been able to do it. Reflection needs to be visited with an optimistic mindset. The practice needs to be at clear sight so you can allow yourself to celebrate even the most insignificant
milestones. That day you felt you didn’t show up – but YOU did.
Conscious reflection exercise:
- Identify original goals. Be sure to think about areas in self-care, family, mindset, work, health and fitness, projects, etc. Go through each goal and think about the initial feeling. Write about how you currently feel. Include what fears and obstacles you thought would exist and list the obstacles and fears that you experienced.
- Now, identify what you are currently doing on the road to working that goal. Has the journey been different than what you had anticipated? Is it no longer important to you? Write down what habits, routines, and thoughts you are doing well and are helping you get closer to that goal.
- Keep it real, proudly write down what needs improvement. Ask yourself, is my goal not attainable, and why? What am I doing or NOT doing?
- Think about what you do daily. Include the things that you are truly forced to do, roles you have assigned yourself to, and things you think about that perhaps you don’t get to do.
- Finish with, what gets you inspired and/or motivated. Be honest!
Re-Design Strategy
Now that we have faced yesterday’s reality, it is time to shift our walk with fresh new kicks as we enter the Re-Design exercise. By the way, I didn’t mean that literally – so empty out that cart! Specifically, with the re-design phase, you are simply utilizing what you have learned to modify the way you target the goal.
It is a brainstorming session with yourself that brings a new perspective and a new mindset. This space is where “aha” moments live and where clarity takes a new set of eyes. In my opinion, this is the most important stage in the attempt to be the driven and productive goal crusher you were intended to be. Before we tackle this stage, repeat after me, “I want to grow and change. I will grow and change – on my terms.”
Re-Design exercise:
- Grab a blank sheet of paper, pen and/or pencil. Make columns and label them with your goal/s.
- Remember this is a judgment and bully-free zone. Be nice to yourself. And stay true to your desires – no compromising.
- First, write a sentence that describes your GOAL as specific as possible. For example, I will lose 10 pounds in 3 months.
- Next, write the strengths and weaknesses YOU and your circumstances possess. Think about your situation NOT the “what if” situation. Be sure to include real-life fears and obstacles which impede you from moving forward.
- List opportunities that exist within your personal life. Also, think about opportunities that YOU can create for yourself or have already done so. This is the time to get innovative with your thoughts and tactics.
- Lastly, use your reflection notes to capture things that have worked for you, such as the habits you have acquired and the mindsets you have developed. In this step, make note of only positive ideas.
Re-Activate Strategy
Keep going… You are doing great! We have laid out our new clean canvas. We’ve devised – either new thoughts, new endpoints, or just slightly adjusted our direction. The creation of this brainstorm session can now be used as a foundation to get back that woman with power, energy, and momentum. The idea of surviving through days is a thing of the past. It is now time to Re-Activate. I get it – you don’t have time. I get it – you are scared. And for those of you intimidated by action, just know you get to choose your pace – as long as you are moving.
The time has come. It’s time to pull that hair up in a bun and dust off that cute planner you bought on Amazon.
Re-Activate exercise:
- In case you have more than one goal, prioritize the list. Remember the method you use to reach your goal/s needs to be measurable and realistic to your life.
- Now, bring out that planner! You want to look at your calendar in a large-scale view. This will allow you to see your real “existing” life schedule and the holes (opportunities) that you will create for yourself in order to help you get closer to your goal.
- Fill in important dates (holidays, birthdays, appts., child’s important school dates, deadlines, etc.) Forecast troubled days, long days, hormonal days – this method keeps things real and allows you permission to have unmotivated day/s.
- Set weekly targets for each of your goals. Focus on creating milestones that are driven by you and not reliant on people doing things for you. Include your potential goal end date.
- Finally, repeat after me, “I am focused. I am driven, motivated, and capable. I am consistent.”
Let’s take a deep breath! You’ve done great! Remember why you read this in the first place. The woman, mother, friend, partner within you will thank you for investing in your growth. Believe that the past has given you the tools to brainstorm new thoughts, which will lead to a better future.
Life passes us quickly – live intentionally and purposefully. Comment below and follow me on Instagram for more encouragement and inspiration.
“We have endured bigger things than our own stubborn patterns of Groundhog Day, which have led us to a motionless, repetitive case of reactive behavior in our own comfort spaces. We’ve got this.”
BOOM. Good stuff. Thank you for this Illiett! I can’t wait to sit down and work through all of this!
Thank you Cierra!
I’m so ready to print out this post and get to work! Definitely going to reset and use my planner to achieve my goals! My quarantine vision board is doing fairly well though! Thank you as always.
Yesss! Glad it can help! Thank you for the support!
I am the mom/woman that always identifies the things I haven’t done, not looking at the little things I have achieved which in the end should help motivate the bigger things. hmmmm??? which of my 5 planners should I use? lol Thank you for this! it was so needed, appreciate you! keep it coming!
Awesome article !!!
Nailed it! Thanks for the article!
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