Choosing Extracurricular Activities: An Important Lesson from my Child

It’s “Back to School” time, which means time to decide on which extracurricular activities to choose.

Parents and kids are both excited and… restless. While every family makes plans for a successful year, when it comes to after school, extracurricular activities, parents are often confused.

What to choose?

How many classes to sign up for?

The real question is: When you sign your child up for an extracurricular activity, do you act as if you were the one who will attend the class, or do you make choices that will best suit your child?

I have a son who will turn 18 in one month. He is a senior this year! I look back and I still remember when he was about to start in preschool. He was an easygoing, happy little boy who loved to socialize with the whole world. However, as a child, I was more reserved at that age and liked to do things by myself. This difference can be a big issue when you are about to shape the life of a little one.

We all know the importance of respecting our children as individuals. Yet, one thing is to know it, and another thing is to put it into practice. Some of us can be natural at this while others learn during the process, like I did.

My biggest challenge was posed by extra curricular activities that were particularly important to me.

I had great plans! He could play an instrument, be a swimmer, appreciate art and photography, play chess, do drama, learn sailing and much more…but I missed one! (It never occurred to me to add soccer to my list).

I started to work on my plans. I signed him up in a great music school. He liked the classes, then we moved to private lessons for a couple of years. Finally, we came to the point where we had to make a choice. Was it worth it to keep going if I had to push him to practice every day and put extra stress on him and on myself?

Was he really enjoying the extracurricular activity or was he trying to make us happy?

It was time to move on to the next chapter. Art and photography replaced music classes. He liked drawing, and we had great times together photographing birds. However, again my super energetic, social boy was into something else. At the same time I was encouraging photography, he was practicing sports.

He tried many sports, including flag football, tennis, karate, basketball, and swimming starting in preschool! He also asked me to sign him up for soccer classes because his friends were all going to soccer. I dd not take those soccer classes very seriously. Instead, I was more inclined to swimming back then. He did well in swimming for a couple of years, along with soccer.

I was witnessing how soccer was taking over everything else… To tell the truth, I didn’t see the passion he had for soccer in any other activity. As you can imagine the rest of the story: Soccer, (which was never even on my list) became his favorite and primary extracurricular activity. 

Over the years I have seen my son wake up to go to 6:00am practices in the summer. I have seen him make many sacrifices and spend many weekends in tournaments with great willingness. He creates opportunities to practice when we are on vacation and puts lots of effort and time into what he is doing. Most importantly, he is always taking his own initiative! I don’t recall ever reminding him of his practice time. I am proud to see his dedication and discipline.

When I look back, I am happy that I could provide him with different options, but I am also happy that I learned to listen to his voice.

My son grew up loving and playing soccer but he also likes swimming. He enjoys backgammon more than chess. His piano classes ended long ago. He has a particular taste of music that is different from mine, and I must admit that I enjoy listening to his lists on Spotify. He occasionally takes my camera and spends some time in nature, although soccer has been a priority in his life. Regardless, I enjoy seeing this growing young man who has taught me how to respect and accept the differences in each individual! 

What extracurricular activities have your children enjoyed that surprised you? Share with us in the comments!