Stepmoms Can Be Celebrated on Mother’s Day Too!

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THE ‘S’ WORD

It’s an interesting title to have. It’s a title I had prior to even becoming a mom. A title that most Disney movies and fairytales make out to be a villain and evil and ugly. It’s a title that can sometimes feel more difficult than “just” being a MOM. And we all know being a MOM is anything but easy. I’m talking about being a STEPMOM. 

Stepmoms Can Be Celebrated on Mother's Day Too! Krystal Giraldo Contributor Miami Moms Blog

It’s a common misconception that most children have, that all stepmothers turn out to be as wicked and evil as the one in Disney’s beloved classic, Cinderella. In fact, I cannot think of a single movie or story where there is actually a nice and loving stepmother. Much too often, we hear of the “normal” parent vs. stepparent case. You know, the one where stepparents and biological parents don’t get along or even want to know each other. That was never my own story. I too was a product of divorced parents and a blended family. And I made it my personal mission for my own stepdaughter to never feel like she had a wicked, evil lady dating her dad. And bringing a brother into this world.   

Stepmoms Aren’t Required to Love, We Choose To Love

According to USA Today, divorce rates are at an all-time high. They published an article in March 2019 that divided divorce rates by state. It may come to a surprise to some (or no surprise at all to others) that Florida has a divorce population of roughly 22.3%. Considering, I think it’s safe to assume that we either come from a family of divorce or know someone who does. I have the best of both worlds: I came from a blended family and now have one of my own.

Stepmoms Can Be Celebrated on Mother's Day Too! Krystal Giraldo Contributor Miami Moms Blog
This is my blended family: My dad, stepmom, (step) sister, and brother.

Another misconception people generally have is that stepmoms or stepdads “know what they’re signing up for.” Falling in love with a person who has a child or children is not a subscription to Netflix or a free trial for a new software product. It’s as real and passionate as falling in love with someone who doesn’t have children. And although this may seem like baggage or a burden to some people, it’s proof that being a stepparent is one of the biggest acts of love that exists. Why? Because unlike our biological children, we are not required to do anything for our stepchildren. We CHOOSE to. Just like my stepmom chooses to love my brother and me. And just like I chose to love my stepdaughter, Bella.

Stepmoms Can Be Celebrated on Mother's Day Too! Krystal Giraldo Contributor Miami Moms Blog

Stepmoms are Still Moms

Although you may not be legally or financially responsible for your stepchildren, you may still have the desire to care for them. Remember, raising all children takes a village. Your stepchildren may have more than a village! And as a stepmom, you have a vital role in that village. You should treat your stepchildren no differently than you would treat your own children. You choose to love them, you choose to feed them, you choose to clothe them, you choose to care for them and you choose to be an additional maternal figure when they are not with their biological mom. Because of this: STEPMOMS ARE STILL MOMS. And because of this, never forget your worth. Remember it is ok to be celebrated! 

Stepmoms Can Be Celebrated on Mother's Day Too! Krystal Giraldo Contributor Miami Moms Blog

Bonus LOVE Means EXTRA Love

If you find yourself in the position where you have a child who has a stepmom, please be patient. Be loving and grateful and teach your child to do the same. There are times where I have felt most defeated in my role as a stepmom. Aside from my partner, my stepdaughter’s mom has been the one to remind me of my worth. And for that, I am enterally grateful. As a “biological” mom myself, I know that there is no such thing as too many people loving my child. For what its worth, that alone should be enough to celebrate the bonus mom and bonus love that your child has been given. 

Stepmoms Can Be Celebrated on Mother's Day Too! Krystal Giraldo Contributor Miami Moms Blog

And if you are a stepmom yourself: I give you the same advice. PLEASE BE PATIENT. Rest well in knowing that one day, you will be appreciated and things do get easier. Allow yourself to feel heard and appreciated. And give yourself a pat on the back, every single day for engaging in a “different” lifestyle that not everyone can be apart of. Bonus can be a synonym for extra. And who wouldn’t want to be valued a little extra on a day that celebrates women LIKE YOU?! 

 

14 COMMENTS

  1. I love this post! Bonus mom bonus love is so true!!! Sharing with the step mamas in my life 🙂 thanks Krystal!

    • Thank you, Rachelle <3 Share with all the NOT EVIL stepmommas! I feel like there is NOT enough information and encouragement out there for us!

  2. Krystal – what a beautiful post! Bella is so blessed to have you! You are worth celebrating EVERY DAY!

  3. Love this !! Thank you for sharing! I also became a step mom first before becoming a mom. ♥️

  4. I absolutely loved reading this! Happy Mother’s Day to you and to all bonus moms! Thank you for sharing your wise words.

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