This year my husband and I are celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary. But more importantly, if you ask my husband, 15 years together. For those of you who don’t know me, I never really dated my husband. That is until I found myself living with him.
I’ve known him since kindergarten. We haven’t always been hanging out with each other, but I’ve always known him. We “dated” for a week or two in 6th grade. But I actually think I saw him more often in the weeks before our little “dating” experience than I did while we actually “dated.”
So fast forward ten years, and I found myself at a party at his apartment. And something happened. I’m not sure if it was the iced hair sticking out under his hat. His laid-back posture. Or if it was the way he always made a sassy but still funny remark on everything. Maybe it was all of it. The whole package. All I know is that from that day, I was sold. If you ask my husband how we met, he will most likely tell you, “Well, she came over to a party, and then she never left.” And he will probably laugh a bit while giving me a look. You know the look only your husband can give you—the one who still gives you butterflies.
So you see, I never really dated my husband until we were a couple. But after that day, I’ve never stopped dating him. And I never will.
Dating your spouse, the one date you won’t regret.
I know that I’m both blessed and lucky to be married to my best friend. That’s not everyone’s experience, but I wish it was. Not that every day is like dancing on pink skies. We have our ups and downs, as does everyone else.
For us, it’s always been so important to take some time off, to spend time together—just the two of us. For us, that is the best investment we can ever make, not only for ourselves but also for our children. A healthy and happy relationship between parents is so important for how we parent our children.
Before we moved to Miami, we used to go on a staycation about every other month. And for two parents, both working full time, that was magical. But in addition to that, we made sure that we had time together, just the two of us. Whether it was watching a movie in bed or having some good food after the kids had gone to bed. We always found ways to invest in our marriage.
For us, our marriage and our relationship became even more important when we found ourselves on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, miles away from family and friends. So we made a decision. We were going to continue to date each other. Making sure to prioritize us and our marriage.
Because when tough times hit you, and eventually they will, standing firm in your marriage is worth more than money can buy. Knowing that our relationship is rock solid. That no matter what happens or what hits us, we’re in this together.
So even when the days are crazy. When you feel like it’s more than you can handle. The laundry piles up and the house looks like a mess. Make sure to take some time to be just boyfriend and girlfriend. It doesn’t have to be so fancy. That’s not what it’s about. It’s about being together. Checking in with each other.
That’s also what I tell others who ask what my secret to a happy marriage is. I always say this. Make sure to make time for just the two of you. Laugh together, share a bottle of wine while folding the laundry. Eat some cheese in bed while you watch a movie. Have some beer outside by the firepit. Or go out for a nice dinner, whatever you’re able to do. Start dating again.
And yes I can still feel in love, and he still gives me butterflies. But most of all he makes me feel loved, and that’s the best feeling ever.
Lots of love!!