…great dad and husband.
And perhaps a glass of wine, a messy house and a screaming toddler.
But definitely a great dad and husband.
I often get the question, “Ann, how do you do it all?”
Well, first, I don’t. Second, I have a self-diagnosed addiction to productivity (and maybe my therapist agrees) so I do do a lot (and often pay for it with unwanted stress and anxiety; I am a work in progress) but I can’t do it all. Third, I have a great husband. Not a perfect husband. Not a perfect dad. Not a perfect marriage. But definitely a great dad and husband. For me, for our family. This is how I am able to work two jobs, to travel, to pursue my dreams, to be a mom, to exercise, to volunteer at our church, to manage our house and to get through all the seasons. It may seem like I do it all, but, the reality is, I couldn’t do half of what I do without Rick.
Because when we are supported and loved by our husbands, this is magic.
Thus, these next few words are written to honor these men and to remind us women that we should be honoring the dads as often as possible. As it turns out, men DO want to be respected and women DO want to be loved. It’s our role as women to first serve, first love, first honor the men in our life who are cheering us on, sharing in household responsibilities, giving us space when we need it and loving our kids so well.
Furthermore, when our husbands are invested in our kiddos and view time with them as a gift rather than a burden, our souls are on fire. When there is fun and play and discipline and prayer, look out! Our heart is captured. It produces another layer of love that creates a foundation in our homes worth writing about it. Worth talking about. Worth sharing. In a world of divorce and single parents and much pain, I want to ensure we are elevating the good and speaking life over each other as women, but more importantly, over our husbands, the fathers of our kids.
I don’t take it lightly that some women out there may be reading this and already may have toggled to another screen because they may not feel their husband is great or that he is being a great dad. I hear you. I know you. I’ve been there. Make no mistake that very likely every single woman could share in that grief and pain at some point or another.
And the beauty in life is that it’s seasonal, nothing is forever, and the flowers start to bloom after the long winter. I promise.
My encouragement to you is to use that season for you. Use that season for you to grow. For, perhaps, something necessary to be revealed and to be worked on. Use that season to pray for your husband and your marriage. Believe that people can be edited, and God can restore and heal every single broken thing. Including our spouses. Ourselves. Our families.
But with all of that said, hear me for just another moment. I would bet there is at least one thing to be thankful for in your husband. One thing worthy of verbal praise and affirmation, letting him know you appreciate him. Let’s catch our husbands doing good and recognize it. Let’s celebrate the men who did, after all, help to make our kids 😉
When they do baths or bedtime, thank them. Don’t default to “yeah but I do that 6 nights a week, why should he be praised for his 1?!” Nope. Just no. That will do nobody any good and I can almost guarantee, will discourage both of you.
Have eyes that see the good and appreciate all of it.
Don’t take for granted that your husband is working long hours – HE WANTS TO PROVIDE FOR YOU! Try to see his point of view and learn what fuels him. Invest in knowing him and understanding him in the name of love!
Ladies, my heart just wanted to offer a little nudge and reminder that if you are doing great, feeling confident, experiencing joy, going to work every day, having some fun – and success – raising your little ones, it’s likely because you have a partner behind you, to the side of you, in front of you. Helping to carry the weight and love you the best way he knows how. Let’s not take this for granted! Keep that beautiful season alive by having a heart of gratitude, even for the small wins.
Because as they say…behind every great mom is a…great dad and husband.