Flourishing In Motherhood: What Moms Need To Mother Well

It’s interesting to look back at one of the early eras of my motherhood journey.

When I originally wrote this post 6 years ago, I had a 5-year-old and a newly minted 1-year-old. The life I lived–even with its challenges (because what era of motherhood isn’t challenging?!)–was so much simpler.

The WORLD was simpler.

Or so it seemed in some ways? I haven’t yet made up my mind on this, but I digress… We hadn’t yet gone through a global pandemic that seemed to usher in a series of unprecedented events that we’re still simultaneously navigating and recovering from WHILE parenting and trying to lead our families. It’s been a whole lot.

So as I revisited this post, I left some things that I think still ring true when I think about what moms need to flourish in motherhood. But I also changed some things in light of what I’ve learned from lived experience over the last few years. I hope you’ll feel seen and encouraged as you read on–we’re all walking through this together!

Moms often have fond memories of their first baby shower.

Mine was sweet. I’d moved to Miami only two years before and only had a handful of friends; so when some dear women wanted to come together and celebrate with me, it really blessed my soul. That was probably the hardest part of my first pregnancy… not being able to share this major life milestone with my closest friends and family, most of whom lived in Virginia and Pennsylvania. That afternoon we played games and ate some of those awesome little sandwiches you only ever eat at parties. But what I treasure most from that day wasn’t the tangible gifts I received.

As we sat together, several women shared personal stories of their early motherhood experiences. Authentic, vulnerable experiences and emotions stemming from suddenly not knowing what do to with this new little person they were just getting to know. Being so far from home without their own moms, sisters, and grandmothers. Learning how to love and support their husbands through this major change in their marriage. And identifying what it was they truly needed… apart from a solid night’s sleep.

Moms Need Mentors

Generally speaking, no one can truly prepare you for the life-changing experience of motherhood. Yes, there are the practical skills you can have under your belt, like changing a diaper, preparing a bottle, or bathing an infant; but when it’s your baby, there are so many other things that factor into the mix, and it’s hard to know what to expect.  Some moms bond quickly and easily with their newborns and may feel a bit more confident in trusting their instincts. Others of us may face a variety of unexpected feelings and challenges that may make this transition more difficult.

Fast-forward to parenting tweens, teens, or adult children. We all need wise and caring women in our lives who’ve been there. We need women who will authentically share their struggles and successes with us so that we know we don’t have to be perfect to be the mom our children need.

Moms Need Community

We might find community in a local church/shared faith tradition, the workplace or classroom, common interests/hobbies, a moms’ group, or with moms of our kids’ friends; but we need to belong. We need to interact with people outside of the four walls of our homes and feel like whole people with contributions to make and people to serve in our spheres of influence. 

Moms Need Big Dreams

Mothering can be amazing, but also be incredibly mundane. It’s really easy to just go through the days checking tasks off of our to-do lists and lose ourselves in our neverending responsibilities. My husband recently asked, What would you do if you could do anything at all? It took me a while to break out of the hyper-responsible-older-sister-dreams-are-for-everyone-else box I too often limit myself to; but when I did… it felt so invigorating! I started looking into opportunities I hadn’t allowed myself to explore before, learned some new things, and picked up some hobbies I’d previously shelved.

There’s something so refreshing about broadening our horizons. Allow yourself to dream big and welcome new possibilities!

Moms Need Grace + Freedom to Fail

Always we begin again. —St. Benedict

We can be so hard on ourselves. And the world can be hard on us, too. We have an enormous responsibility and we have to figure much of it out on the fly. (Multiply this x1000 as a parent during these unprecedented times.) We will try, fail, and make many mistakes, but we can always begin again. Be gracious to yourself, and accept the grace that is always available to you.

Now it’s your turn! What are some things you need to flourish in motherhood? What have you learned on your own journey that would be helpful for other moms?

Updated July 2024