Infertility: When What We Most Value is Taken Away From Us


My Backstory of Infertility

My story of infertility is unusual. It’s not the story of a barren woman who tried for years to get pregnant. It’s not the story heard often or considered seriously once you see the sweet picture of a mom and her two boys. My story is different. Which is why it’s been hard to grieve. Very few people understand the specifics of my journey after my first two sweet boys were born. Usually once informed that I already have children, their expressions turn confused and most don’t care to talk about my infertility anymore.

Infertility: When What We Most Value is Taken Away From Us Jackie Aviles Contributor Miami Moms Blog

After being diagnosed with stage four breast cancer, two years ago, I became infertile. The process of letting go has been tough. If I were capable of conceiving another baby and carrying them to term without killing us both in the process, I’d go through it all in a heartbeat. It’s a choice I know I will never be able to make. 

However, this post is not about my infertility or why I can’t have any more children, but recognizing that what we value most can be taken away for our good.

Revealed Truth

When something we value is taken away from us, it reveals the truth of what we really trust and love. God knows this. In the process of losing, our last thought is that God is on our side. It’s the natural response for so many, as we tend to persuade ourselves by what we see, rather than concerning ourselves with what God is truly working on behind the scenes. We end up at wrong conclusions, torturing ourselves with the wrong idea. 

What is it you want most from God? Hope? Healing? A baby? These are all normal desires. The problem is we want these things more than we want God. Only through God taking rather than giving will we come to understand that He takes away for our own good. Christ desires to know that we will be satisfied to be left alone with him, rather than turn away from Him until he gives us what we really want.

This choice can determine whether you suffer through seasons of taking or grow because of them. 

The Value in Suffering

Through our suffering, God is at work. 

Infertility, loss of children, anxiety, depression, miscarriages, and so many other struggles are opportunities to declare His greatness and deepen our relationship with Him. When did you last hear someone say, “I grew closer to God when my life was free from suffering?”

Our relationships with God strengthen because of our trials and their graceful interruptions. I would’ve never thought my heart would be satisfied by God taking away what I most valued.

You see, God has brought so much good through what I never wanted. We must try to see that some of the greatest, most valuable gifts come only through experiences of suffering and loss. Personally, one of those gifts was not only a deeper relationship with my savior but joy indescribable. 

Joy in the Midst 

What happens when God takes away what we most value? It shows the impossibility of finding true joy outside of God.

It’s tragic to think that I won’t be able to have any more children, that motherhood, in general, is just not for everyone. Yet the message is still the same. God is faithful. There is always hope and happiness ahead in our journeys as long as we choose to place our trust in Christ. Even in the midst of the long, dark, and difficult times, He is working! He is causing all things to come together for our good so we might choose joy. 

“A woman who laughs at the days to come needs to be standing on a sure and steady confidence not in what she is able to endure, but in who her God will still be as she is enduring. And even in the deepest moment of pain, or the hearing of bad news she will echo the sounds of laughter.” –John Piper, Desiring God

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. (Prov 31:25)

What a sweet future it will be!


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