Where do I begin this post? I can start off by saying that if you are considering breastfeeding your newborn, that is wonderful news. And if you are not considering breastfeeding your newborn, that is also wonderful news. The journey of breastfeeding is meant to be what you want it to be. Do not let anyone shame you for what you do or do not do with your body. It is YOUR body. And as we all know, our body and mind are connected! The things I am saying in this post are from my personal lens as a Latina, first-time mom, so it is more of a lesson that I am sharing with you. However, if you are seeking advice you can find it here.
So, here is some background to my story.
My mother breastfed me until I was around one year old. I did not ask anyone else’s history related to breastfeeding from my mom’s side because, quite frankly, that did not matter to me. On my husband’s side of the family, breastfeeding was uncommon. We come from two separate cultures, different upbringings, you know, varied life circumstances, so there is NO judgment there. I like to think that our moms did the best that they could, with the resources they had at the time.
Fast forward to my current life, as a first-time mom of a 2-year-old boy. We are still nursing. I did not think we would make it this far, and by “we” I mean me, myself and I. Besides the fact that I have a complicated medical history related to my reproductive system and the low chances of a natural pregnancy occurring, my doctor once told me (after running some lab work) that she did not think lactation would be a possibility for me in the future. I did not fully believe it, since I knew my faith can move mountains. But the statement was always in the back of my head. I did have doubts, probably like you do. It is a human thing. It is ok.
To be completely honest, breastfeeding has been my sanity throughout my unique motherhood journey.
I would like to think that one of the main reasons has been the internal vow that I made to myself and my son: I would only listen to my own voice. My heart, mind, and body would guide our time nursing. As long as my son and I were both on the same page, then it was going to be a beautiful experience. And it has been all along.
These are my top 3 reasons why I have not put a timeline on my breastfeeding journey:
1. You will force other people to pressure you.
It is not uncommon for people to ask you about your breastfeeding timeline. “How long have you been breastfeeding?”, “When do you plan to stop breastfeeding?”, “I thought you were going to stop at 6 months.”, “Why are you still breastfeeding?”, etc. It is not worth it to add extra pressure from others by announcing a timeline to others. You do not owe anyone an answer to a specific day and time when you will discontinue breastfeeding your newborn or toddler.
2. You will put pressure on yourself.
This one is huge. With motherhood, we do not know what is coming now, nor the next hour, nor the next day, neither for ourselves nor for our baby. Every day comes with its own challenges and successes. If you just listen to your mind and body, you will be able to decide what is best for YOU and YOUR BABY in the moment. No one can tell you otherwise. It is your body and your baby. (If you do need to seek support from a lactation specialist, counselor, etc. then, by all means, seek it).
3. You will take away from enjoying the moment.
This one is big for me. By setting a timeline, you rob yourself and your baby of living in the moment. It is not worth it and you will have a negative experience overall. Focus on what you are doing now for your baby, and other than the nutrition, focus on the connection and bond you are building between each other. Whether you breastfed for 1 hour, 1 day, 1 week, or 1 year, give yourself and your baby the security that you did the best you could.
I hope you are able to find a support system during your breastfeeding journey, no matter how long it may be. I am personally thankful for my husband being an ongoing supporter, as well as my mother. It truly is what you make it to be! As a new mom, it is always helpful to relate to other moms so you feel empowered during your breastfeeding journey.
Remember: As long as you and your baby are happy and healthy, no other opinion matters.
I personally enjoy reading about other culture’s experiences with breastfeeding, such as Black Breastfeeding Week (August 25-31).
