Mothering Through Cancer: 3 Ways to Cure the Perfect Mom Syndrome


No One is Perfect & Motherhood is Messy

It’s just one of those mornings when your kids decide to wake up and complain about breakfast, still in their pajamas, not cooperating at all. The clock is ticking and no one has brushed their teeth. Then, I finally get to school and my youngest decides to be Peppa Pig and jump into a muddy puddle right before entering class. All I could think about was my perfect to-do list and how none of it was getting done. Nothing was going the “right way.” 

And it was only 9am. ” I need a cape,” I whispered in exhaustion. 

I’ve always struggled with being a perfect mom. The mom who never fails. Who never gets frustrated or raises her voice. The one who always has a smile on her face. The mom who cooks delicious meals everyday and keeps her house spotless. However, I’ve come to find out through my motherhood journey that there is no such thing

It’s Ok to Not Be OkMothering Through Cancer: 3 Ways to Cure the Perfect Mom Syndrome Miami Moms Blog

We are not supermoms. Knowing this should be a relief! It is not our job to be super. We must stop thinking that we are required to live up to the standards of other moms, or the rules written in the parenting guide at the pediatrician’s office.

Make your own way. Let your children see your mess. Let them see you fail and how you deal with your struggles. Be transparent. Let them see you cry. Let them see you disappointed. Remember that you are a sinner and that you are not perfect, but forgiven and extended grace from God.

Your kids don’t need the perfect mom.

They need a real mom. 

Mothering Through My Cancer

I could hear small footsteps walking my way. It was my oldest son. I gently whispered, “Are you ok? Why are you awake?” He whispered back, ” Mommy, what does heaven look like?”  I hadn’t thought about Jesus all day as I focused on “getting things done.” I was so moved by his question that my eyes began to water.

It was as if time stood still.  

We had been speaking about Mommy going to heaven recently, and with tears in my eyes, I described the wonders of heaven. He continued by reminding me that Jesus died on the cross and then asked, “Why?”

I said, “He did it for you and me.” The famous “But why?” continued… “Because He loves us. We matter to Him.”

He was so amazed, and quickly said, “Jesus is a superhero! Does he wear a cape?”

I giggled quietly trying not to wake his brother in the bed across from him, and said, “Well, it’s more like a robe, and it’s white.”

Mothering Through Cancer: 3 Ways to Cure the Perfect Mom Syndrome Miami Moms Blog

“Will we get to see Jesus one day?” He asked.

“Yes, one day Jesus will come to get us and take us to heaven.” I replied.

“And then you will be all better, right Mommy?”

Choked up I replied,

“Yes, my Leo. I will be all better.”

At that moment, He turned his head away, tucked his shoulders under the covers, and fell asleep. Quickly tiptoeing back to my room, I realized I hadn’t felt overwhelmed anymore. God had used my 4-year old son to remind me that living for what matters most requires sacrifice, not a to-do list. This is what Jesus did for us. 

To the Perfect Mom

I can’t tell you enough how many times I have reached for a cape instead of The Cross. I know you are eager to get things done, but I need you to release the grip of that to-do list, and the pressure of being perfect, and grab a hold of God’s calling. Ask Him help you focus not on the tasks of motherhood, but towards what we can use in our mothering to point our littles back to Jesus. 

3 Ways to Cure the Perfect Mom Syndrome

In the end, you can never be a Super Mom; but you can serve a Super God. Here are some to-do’s that will help you connect with God in the midst of chaos. 

  • Study God’s Word by placing post it notes with scripture verses all around your house. Place one on your refrigerator door or even bathroom mirror. You can also play the Bible on audio or listen to podcasts. Here’s a link to one of my favorites. 
  • Go through out your day having conversations with Jesus. Make time to remember Him. It can be while you are washing the dishes, folding laundry or even cooking. The point is to just start talking to Him.
  • Listen to worship music throughout your day. You can be cleaning, putting the kids to sleep or eating lunch. Play some worship music to get your spiritual energy up. Watch and see anxiety and perfection be replaced with joy and contentment.  

Life can be so busy that it may take something as small as our crumbling to-do list to teach us that, regardless of how time crunching our day may be, nothing is more precious than time spent with God. 


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